💬 What to Say When Your Child Has Big Feelings: A Guide Using the Colorful Capes of Feelings

As parents, we’ve all had those moments—your child is melting down, overwhelmed, angry, or simply “off,” and you're standing there thinking, “What do I even say right now?”

You want to be calm. Supportive. Emotionally available. But sometimes, it’s just hard to find the words—especially when emotions are high.

That’s exactly why we created Miles and the Colorful Capes of Feelings.

Using colors to represent emotions gives kids (and parents!) a language to talk about big feelings in a way that feels safe, playful, and validating. Each color represents a different emotion—like red for anger, yellow for anxiety, blue for sadness, and green for calm bravery.

But we know that even with this system, parents still need help knowing what to actually say in the moment.

So, we created something just for you:🎁 A free resource with ready-to-use scripts that you can lean on when you’re unsure what to say or how to comfort your child.

🌈 Why Use Colorful Capes to Talk About Emotions?

Children, especially neurodiverse kids or those with speech delays, often struggle to express feelings with words alone. But using a visual language like color + capes helps them feel seen, heard, and safe.

And for you as the parent? It gives you a guide—so you're not guessing or scrambling for the “right” thing to say when emotions get big.

🧡 Sample Scripts: What to Say During Big Feelings

Whether your child is mid-meltdown or you’re talking things through after the fact, here are some gentle scripts you can use—each one tied to a color from the book:

❤️ Red Cape = Anger or Frustration

During:"Your red cape is showing up. That means you're feeling really mad or frustrated. Want to stomp your feet together with me to help it calm down?"

After:"I saw your red cape today. Big feelings are okay—we all have them. What can we do next time to help your red cape feel safe and calm?"

💛 Yellow Cape = Nervous or Anxious

During:"Is your yellow cape on right now? Feeling nervous is okay. I'm right here and you're safe."

After:"Let’s talk about what made your yellow cape come out. What helped you feel better?"

💙 Blue Cape = Sad or Lonely

During:"I think I see your blue cape today. Want a hug or some quiet time together?"

After:"When your blue cape shows up, it means you need a little extra love. What helps you feel cozy and cared for?"

💚 Green Cape = Calm and Brave

During:"Look at that strong green cape! You’re doing such a great job using your tools."

After:"You stayed calm and brave, even when it was hard. I’m so proud of how you handled that."

💜 Purple Cape = Silly or Excited

During:"I see your purple cape is ready for some fun! Let’s use all that energy in a safe, fun way together."

After:"Your purple cape was so playful today! What was your favorite part of that silly moment?"

🧡 Orange Cape = Confident and Proud

During:"That orange cape is shining! I can tell you feel really proud of yourself—and you should!"

After:"When did you feel your orange cape today? Let’s celebrate that proud moment."

🤍 When You're Not Sure What to Say

During:"I don’t know exactly what to say, but I’m here. Can you show me your cape color right now?"

After:"Thank you for helping me understand your feelings. I’m learning from you, and I love being your safe place."

✨ Download the Free Script Resource

We created a simple, color-coded printable with all these scripts that you can keep on the fridge, in your car, or next to your child’s calm-down corner.💾 Click here to download your Colorful Capes Conversation Guide

💬 Final Thoughts

When your child is having a hard time, they don’t need perfection—they need connection.

Even if your words aren’t perfect, using the Colorful Capes system helps your child feel seen, understood, and supported. And over time, they’ll learn to name their feelings, ask for help, and discover their own emotional tools.

Let’s raise emotionally resilient kids—one colorful cape at a time. 🌈